Took my nephew to visit his great garndparents (my grnadparents) in Nashville today. Then it was back to Murfreesboro, my house for a while, and then off to church. While we were in Nashville my fmaily got back from Chattanooga. When I left my house was nice and quiet. I returned to the usual chaos.
I just spilt coke on my computer keyboard (whoops). I wonder if it was going to mess it up if it would have done it immediatly or might it happen later? Hopefully the fact that it still works, means it will keep on working. It is a bit sticky though.
Tonight at Church my class talked about Forgiveness, which has been the topic lately. We also discussed some things about other denominations. Most of us feel that it doesn't matter how you worship or where, as long as you are Worshipping God. That it is more inportant to be a Christian that to be "Church of Christ" or "Baptist" or "Catholic." To be able to honestly say that you believe in God, and that he is the only God, and that you believe Jesus was his son, sent to save us from our sins. Those are the things that are important. Not whether you worship with instruments, or acapella, or whether you worship at one church or another.
I have an example of this is my family. I have a 3'rd or 4'th (not sure which) cousin who recently got married. Her parents are very conservative Church of Christer's (is that a word?) He is another denomination. Because of this, her parents basically disowned her and she had to be given away at her wedding by her uncle. His parents paid for the wedding. That just made me sick when I found out. How can you give birth to a child, and raise them and love them only to turn your back on them because they chose to marry a Christian man who was not a member of the Church of Christ? She could have chosen a lot worse. They will never know their grandkids and basically now have one less child. How anyone could be so close minded I don't know. God is Love. The Bible tells us we are supposed to love Everyone. The Bible does not give us step by step instructions on how to worship. The Bible does not instruct us which denomination we are supposed to be. This is because denominations were created by man, not by God. The idea that someone would not go to Heaven because they choose to worship God one way over another is wrong. If I turned my back on everyone who made a decison I did not agree with I would be sitting in a box all by myself somewhere. I guess I would have to disown myself also, since I have made some bad decisions myself. The Bible orders us to love our children. I think as far as one's own children are concerned, you love them unconditionally. You don't stop loving them because they sin, or because they get a tattoo, marry the wrong guy or even if they commit a terrible crime. They are still your children.
Anyway, I needed to get on my soapbox tonight. I'm just really bothered by this particular situation.
Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Quiet
It's been a nice, relaxing couple of days. My family left Sunday afternoon for Chattanooga. It's just me and the cat here at home. I've been doing laundry and cleaning, mostly puttering around the house. I made cookies today and tommorow I am going to pick up my nephew and go to Nashville to my Grandparents for lunch. I made the cookies for my grandfather, and I think I'll drop a few by the Christian Student Center before I head to Nashville.
I applied for a job today. I really need to make some money. Also, I am starting to feel like a housewife. This is bad since I'm not married and this is my parents house.
I think this is going to be my shortest blog yet. There is basically nothing going on with me, Hence there is nothing to post about. So, I'm off to take out my contacts and go to bed.
I applied for a job today. I really need to make some money. Also, I am starting to feel like a housewife. This is bad since I'm not married and this is my parents house.
I think this is going to be my shortest blog yet. There is basically nothing going on with me, Hence there is nothing to post about. So, I'm off to take out my contacts and go to bed.
Saturday, March 26, 2005
Easter
I went to an Easter service at my church tonight. It was very uplifting and moving.
My nephew is spending the night tonight and going to church with me in the morning. I hope I get some sleep!
There is a guy at my church that has me troubled. I've known him for a few years. I met him at the Christian Student Center at MTSU. We've never been friends, and I guess I never really thought much of it until I started going to church with him. He says hi to people, shakes peoples hands, maybe hugs a few, and then he looks past me. I went up to him and said hi back when I first started going to church there and he said "hey" then there was this ackward silence and he turned around and went in the bathroom. I try to say hi when I see him, but he either doesn't hear me or he ignores me. I know there will always be people who don't like me and people who I don't like. However, I at least get to know someone before I decide if I like them or not. He's never even attempted to know me. He may think he knows me because of how I used to act, but thats not who I am anymore. There's been several times when I just want to go up to him and ask him what his problem with me is, but I don't. I guess it just hurts my feelings that I'm not worth even a hello to him. Your supposed to love everybody and I have tried to love him, but it's hard i'm getting quite the opposite vibe from him.
On a brighter note, I got a sandwich today that was supposed to be somewhere around $5.25. The guy only charged me $2.99. He said he was feeling generous and I didn't get everything on the sandwich that came on it. I will have to frequent this place more often and repay him for his genorosity. I guess giving me a discount is a good way to win me over as a customer. And no, for those who think like my sister, I did not give him my number or ask for his number. Nor do I want his number. I'm not sure where a guy would fit into my life right now. Especially if I get into nursing school. There will be no time, which is fine with me. I've done great this long being single.
My nephew is spending the night tonight and going to church with me in the morning. I hope I get some sleep!
There is a guy at my church that has me troubled. I've known him for a few years. I met him at the Christian Student Center at MTSU. We've never been friends, and I guess I never really thought much of it until I started going to church with him. He says hi to people, shakes peoples hands, maybe hugs a few, and then he looks past me. I went up to him and said hi back when I first started going to church there and he said "hey" then there was this ackward silence and he turned around and went in the bathroom. I try to say hi when I see him, but he either doesn't hear me or he ignores me. I know there will always be people who don't like me and people who I don't like. However, I at least get to know someone before I decide if I like them or not. He's never even attempted to know me. He may think he knows me because of how I used to act, but thats not who I am anymore. There's been several times when I just want to go up to him and ask him what his problem with me is, but I don't. I guess it just hurts my feelings that I'm not worth even a hello to him. Your supposed to love everybody and I have tried to love him, but it's hard i'm getting quite the opposite vibe from him.
On a brighter note, I got a sandwich today that was supposed to be somewhere around $5.25. The guy only charged me $2.99. He said he was feeling generous and I didn't get everything on the sandwich that came on it. I will have to frequent this place more often and repay him for his genorosity. I guess giving me a discount is a good way to win me over as a customer. And no, for those who think like my sister, I did not give him my number or ask for his number. Nor do I want his number. I'm not sure where a guy would fit into my life right now. Especially if I get into nursing school. There will be no time, which is fine with me. I've done great this long being single.
Wednesday, March 23, 2005
Life Suppport
I've been sitting here for a while trying to think of what I want to post on. Terry Schiavo keeps coming to mind. I've been trying to decide how I feel about this. On one hand I think that she's in a vegetative state and maybe it is best to let her go. On the other hand, she isn't on life support. She's just on a feeding tube. Her body works enough that she she can breathe on her own. If it was a matter of turning off a resperator, my opinion would be much simpler. I've been there. I didn't make the decision, but I was with the family of a very dear friend when the decision was made to "disconnect" her life support. I held her brother when they came out and told us it had been done. I cried with her husband moments later as I stood by his side at her bed. I cried with her brother and mother-in-law almost 24 hours later when she took her last breath, with her husband still by her side, holding her hand as he had the last 24 hours non stop.
This decison was not an easy one for any of the family involved. In the end, it was her husband who made the decision. It was not made until tests showed no brain function. She died peacefully, feeling no pain.
In the case of Terry Schiavo, I don't know what her brain function is. I hate the idea that she is dying because she is starving and dehydrated. Neither one of those is by any means a pleasent way to go. I feel like your body knows when it is time to go. God takes you when he is ready. If she had been left on the feeding tube would she have lived for 15 more years? While I don't feel that anyone should have to "live" the way she has, I'm not sure if the way she is being forced to go is right either. I think when it is her time to die, she will die. I think this is a very private decision that should be made by families. I don't feel that congress or the president had any right to step in. I wish her husband and her parents could agree on what was best for her. I'm not sure that I really agree with either one of them. I already said what I thought about the way she is going. I think that her parents have not faced that she is not going to get better. They, like all parents would, still hold on to hope that their daughter will recover.
Tonight I just pray that if it is her time to go, that she do so quickly without pain.
This decison was not an easy one for any of the family involved. In the end, it was her husband who made the decision. It was not made until tests showed no brain function. She died peacefully, feeling no pain.
In the case of Terry Schiavo, I don't know what her brain function is. I hate the idea that she is dying because she is starving and dehydrated. Neither one of those is by any means a pleasent way to go. I feel like your body knows when it is time to go. God takes you when he is ready. If she had been left on the feeding tube would she have lived for 15 more years? While I don't feel that anyone should have to "live" the way she has, I'm not sure if the way she is being forced to go is right either. I think when it is her time to die, she will die. I think this is a very private decision that should be made by families. I don't feel that congress or the president had any right to step in. I wish her husband and her parents could agree on what was best for her. I'm not sure that I really agree with either one of them. I already said what I thought about the way she is going. I think that her parents have not faced that she is not going to get better. They, like all parents would, still hold on to hope that their daughter will recover.
Tonight I just pray that if it is her time to go, that she do so quickly without pain.
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
The Never Ending Day
Today has been such a long day. I had planned on going and staying with my Grandmother tonight. However, those plans changed this morning when it was discovered that my mom's cold is not a cold, it's the flu. So, I scrapped my plans. Instead I went to Hickory Hollow Mall. Found a skirt and jacket and some shoes for church. I lived in Nashville til I was 10, and since my Grandparents still live there, I am pretty familiar with the streets. So, maybe it was the rain, but I had a hard time getting anywhere I was trying to go today. I left Hickory Hollow mall, turned on the road that I knew would take me to Murfreesboro Road so I could run by my grandparents, drove a little ways on that road, hmmm, this doesn't look familiar, so I turned on another road, gave a small cry of suprise when I saw the home depo sign, indicating I had just made a complete circle through Antioch and ended up back at the mall. So once again, I turn on another road, same thing happens. So much for my short cut, I get on Bell Road and stay on Bell road all the way to Murfreesboro Road. Drive down Murfreesboro road, see the road I had turned on the first time when leaving the mall (If I had just kept going another minute on it, I could have avoided circling around, twice) I turned off Murfreesboro Road onto Donelson Pike, past the airport, down to Lebanon Road. I'm finally all most there. I'm in the right lane, about to go over Briley Parkway, when oops! Thanks to all the road construction, this lane only goes onto Briley Parkway, not straight like I need to. It's raining and there is traffic, so I'm forced onto Briley. Drove through the road construction, exited Briley at Two Rivers Park, luckily I lived by the park, so I know where I am. Drove down Two rivers Parkway, to McGavock Pike, back to Lebanon road. This time I stay in the left lane and finally get to my grandparents house.
Normally I don't have adventures like that, although I am good at making maybe one wrong turn, but I usually get back the right way with no problem.
I left my Grandmothers and thought it looked like the rain was letting up. About the time I got on I-24 I glanced ahead of me and thought it looked awfully foggy up ahead. It wasn't fog. It was rain. The kind of rain where you can only see the car's tailights in front of you and basically nothing else. That lasted from Donelson until Lavergne. I never got above 40 and people weren't passing me. As I got closer to home the rain let up. Traffic was at a standstill after I got in Murfreesboro because of a wreck. I finally got through that, stopped by my house for a few minutes, then headed across town to my sisters to watch my nephew while she worked. I just got home from keeping him. There are storms heading towards us, so I have a feeling it's going to be a long night also. I can't sleep when it's storming.
I forgot to mention, I got in the 91'st percentile on my test. Hopefully I will be one of about 50 called for an interview and then one of 24 accepted into the program.
Normally I don't have adventures like that, although I am good at making maybe one wrong turn, but I usually get back the right way with no problem.
I left my Grandmothers and thought it looked like the rain was letting up. About the time I got on I-24 I glanced ahead of me and thought it looked awfully foggy up ahead. It wasn't fog. It was rain. The kind of rain where you can only see the car's tailights in front of you and basically nothing else. That lasted from Donelson until Lavergne. I never got above 40 and people weren't passing me. As I got closer to home the rain let up. Traffic was at a standstill after I got in Murfreesboro because of a wreck. I finally got through that, stopped by my house for a few minutes, then headed across town to my sisters to watch my nephew while she worked. I just got home from keeping him. There are storms heading towards us, so I have a feeling it's going to be a long night also. I can't sleep when it's storming.
I forgot to mention, I got in the 91'st percentile on my test. Hopefully I will be one of about 50 called for an interview and then one of 24 accepted into the program.
Sunday, March 20, 2005
Test Day #2
I take my nursing test again in the morning. Father, be with me in the morning. I know I'm prepared. Help me to be calm and to answer each question carefully.
My Grandfather has moved to the rehab hospital. They were wise to his attempts to get up by himself. He was told if caught, some kind of bell would be put on him or the bed that would allert the nurses if he got up. Apparently, he is now doing so well, that they are now allowing him to get up on his own. He is progressing faster than ever expected. I may go down and spend the night with my grandmother tuesday night. They live really close to Opry Mills in nashville. I realized that Easter is a week from today and that I don't have anything to wear to church. I have nothing that looks spring weather like. I don't get new clothes very often. Even when I have money (hardly ever) I normally don't spend it on myself. I also don't normally enjoy shopping, but for some reason I have the urge to go. Maybe it has something to do with spring? I also have an urge to go clean all the weeds out of my flower bed and get it ready for new flowers. Now, if only I'de get an urge to clean house.
My Grandfather has moved to the rehab hospital. They were wise to his attempts to get up by himself. He was told if caught, some kind of bell would be put on him or the bed that would allert the nurses if he got up. Apparently, he is now doing so well, that they are now allowing him to get up on his own. He is progressing faster than ever expected. I may go down and spend the night with my grandmother tuesday night. They live really close to Opry Mills in nashville. I realized that Easter is a week from today and that I don't have anything to wear to church. I have nothing that looks spring weather like. I don't get new clothes very often. Even when I have money (hardly ever) I normally don't spend it on myself. I also don't normally enjoy shopping, but for some reason I have the urge to go. Maybe it has something to do with spring? I also have an urge to go clean all the weeds out of my flower bed and get it ready for new flowers. Now, if only I'de get an urge to clean house.
Friday, March 18, 2005
Amazing
I decided I was well enough to go see my Grandfather today. He moves to the Rehab Hospital tommorow and I wanted to see him before that. He is doing better than expected. He has been up walking with the aide of a walker and a physical therapist. While I was there today, the nurse removed the drainage tube from his knee and I got to see his insision. It looked really good. He is planning on having his other knee done this fall. His is back to his stuborn self. I argued in circles on the phone with him last night about why my Grandma has to drive him to rehab and why he can't drive himself. He made no mention of it today, so hopefully he has realized he is not allowed to drive. He also confessed to getting himself out of bed during the night and walking, alone,with his walker, down to the nurses station in search of another sleeping pill. He's not supposed to get up without someone helping him. Since he has done it once, he'll probably do it again and it may be one of those things we just have to let him do and pray he doesn't get hurt. Now, if only we can figure out how to keep him off the riding mower in a few weeks when he is back home?
I had a bicycle club officers meeting last night. I don't ride, but my dad is the president. He's actually off on some ride in Floriday as I type this. He willl ride all day tommorow and finish up about 3 a.m. Sunday morning. crazy, yes, I know. He rode across the United States three years ago and has riden from Canada to Mexico and from California to the Grand Canyon and back, just to name a few. The year started with a new title for me. I am now "Event Director". This translates into "person who does everything no one else wants to do." I am going on my third year as the Director of The Heart Of Tennesee Century (H.O.T. 100) bike ride. Last we had grew to over 600 participants. It's a lot of work and a lot of permits and sponsor's rear ends to kiss etc...This year I am also taking on the Two County Metric. It is coming up April 16'th. It attracts a little less than half as many riders as the HOT and is quite a bit easier to stage. Even though the HOT is not until August 27'th, There are already things that need done to prepare for it. Basically I am trying to plan and finalize stuff for the Two county and work on the HOT at the same time. You can read more about the Club and these rides at www.mborobike.com
If I knew how to link to it, I would.
I love working with the Club. I saw them pull together as a family last year with the sudden death of a long time member, who was also an officer. I feel blessed to have my family, my church family and my bike club family. If only bike club wasn't a volunteer thing. It would be nice to get paid to do what I am good at.
One of the Club officers teaches Algebra at MTSU. She met me before the meeting at the Lawyers office we always have our meetings at, and helped me with the Algebra for my test Monday. She was a lot of help and told me some steps to solving algebra problems that I had forgotten.
Well, my nephew is about to leave. I need to go give him kisses :)
I had a bicycle club officers meeting last night. I don't ride, but my dad is the president. He's actually off on some ride in Floriday as I type this. He willl ride all day tommorow and finish up about 3 a.m. Sunday morning. crazy, yes, I know. He rode across the United States three years ago and has riden from Canada to Mexico and from California to the Grand Canyon and back, just to name a few. The year started with a new title for me. I am now "Event Director". This translates into "person who does everything no one else wants to do." I am going on my third year as the Director of The Heart Of Tennesee Century (H.O.T. 100) bike ride. Last we had grew to over 600 participants. It's a lot of work and a lot of permits and sponsor's rear ends to kiss etc...This year I am also taking on the Two County Metric. It is coming up April 16'th. It attracts a little less than half as many riders as the HOT and is quite a bit easier to stage. Even though the HOT is not until August 27'th, There are already things that need done to prepare for it. Basically I am trying to plan and finalize stuff for the Two county and work on the HOT at the same time. You can read more about the Club and these rides at www.mborobike.com
If I knew how to link to it, I would.
I love working with the Club. I saw them pull together as a family last year with the sudden death of a long time member, who was also an officer. I feel blessed to have my family, my church family and my bike club family. If only bike club wasn't a volunteer thing. It would be nice to get paid to do what I am good at.
One of the Club officers teaches Algebra at MTSU. She met me before the meeting at the Lawyers office we always have our meetings at, and helped me with the Algebra for my test Monday. She was a lot of help and told me some steps to solving algebra problems that I had forgotten.
Well, my nephew is about to leave. I need to go give him kisses :)
Thursday, March 17, 2005
test
| I have no idea what this test means. I made D's in science. However I saw it on Bill's Blog (guy from church) and decided to try it. Zn... Zinc You scored 20 Mass, 32 Electronegativity, 54 Metal, and 0 Radioactivity! |
You have a strong sense of the communal good and you aren't too demanding. You know better than to mess with the powers that be. You value being surronded by the right people, but don't care too much about what people beyond your group think of you. You are also the last element to be mentioned in every vitamin commercial, and have gained recognition throughout the 50+ community as the very symbol of "completeness." Hmm, you might be good at taking care of sick people, but that might be hogwash too. |
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My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:
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| Link: The Which Chemical Element Am I Test written by effataigus on Ok Cupid |
Wednesday, March 16, 2005
Sick
My sinus stuff has gotten worse the last couple of days. I woke up this morning with no voice. I went to the doctor, even though I didn't think they would give me anything. They did give me a few days worth of steriods. I'm very familiar with steriods. I have had to take them quite a bit in the past with my colon. I'm not on a strong dose so hopefully no side effects like they have caused in the past.
My Grandfather's Surgery was today. Since I wasn't sure what I was sick with, I didn't go to the hospital. There is nothing worse than being in the hospital and having someone come see you who is sick. Epecially if you catch it on top of whatever is else going on. So, I did the considerate thing and stayed home. It was hard sitting here all morning waiting to hear. His surgery took quite a bit longer than they thought it would, but it wasn't anything major.
He starts physical therapy on his knee soon. They should transfer him from the hospital to rehab over the weekend. He will be in rehab between 8 and 14 days. I am so glad that his surgery went ok. I know he wasn't feeling real well tonight, but hopefully the pain will get better soon. I remember the pain and the nausea from my arm and later from physical therapy. It definatly wasn't pleasant, but each day was a little easier than the day before. You take baby steps, you get frustrated cause you feel like you're not making a lot of progress, then one day you realize you're a lot better.
I missed Church tonight. I'm feeling pretty rough. It's also frustrating to not be able to talk, but I think my family is enjoying it :)
My Grandfather's Surgery was today. Since I wasn't sure what I was sick with, I didn't go to the hospital. There is nothing worse than being in the hospital and having someone come see you who is sick. Epecially if you catch it on top of whatever is else going on. So, I did the considerate thing and stayed home. It was hard sitting here all morning waiting to hear. His surgery took quite a bit longer than they thought it would, but it wasn't anything major.
He starts physical therapy on his knee soon. They should transfer him from the hospital to rehab over the weekend. He will be in rehab between 8 and 14 days. I am so glad that his surgery went ok. I know he wasn't feeling real well tonight, but hopefully the pain will get better soon. I remember the pain and the nausea from my arm and later from physical therapy. It definatly wasn't pleasant, but each day was a little easier than the day before. You take baby steps, you get frustrated cause you feel like you're not making a lot of progress, then one day you realize you're a lot better.
I missed Church tonight. I'm feeling pretty rough. It's also frustrating to not be able to talk, but I think my family is enjoying it :)
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Bad night
It's 3 a.m. in the morning and I'm awake. Just thought I'de blog a minute. This hasn't happened to me in a while, but sometimes I dream about things that have happened to me and some things that were done to me in the past. I wake up panicked and sobbing and sleep doesn't come real well afterwards.
I think I've left things behind and have dealt with them and then I have these dreams and think maybe I haven't. I wake up alone in the darkness of my room and everyone else in the house is sleeping. It's hard when you need to share something and there is no one to share it with. I try talking to God, but then I end up thinking more and dwelling on what is bothering me and getting myself more upset.
Part of my problem is this wall I've built around myself. It's really hard for me to let anyone in. I feel like I have so many layers. I'll share some things with people on occasion, but there's always other things that so far, very few have managed to get out of me. It's not that I want to hold on to these things, it's just that I don't want people to judge me (it's nothing illegal) and I feel like I have so much that I am dumping on people when I do share.
Things tend to come to surface in the form of nightmares to me. I severely broke my arm 2 1/2 years ago, and didn't realize how traumatic it was for me until two days after I was in the hospital and I started dreaming the accident over and over, I would wake up right at the second that I heard my bones snap (more like a pop). My nurses said it was some post traumatic stress stuff. Considering I hadn't been in a war or anything I didn't know it was bad enough to cause that. Apparently the audible snapping of bones, pain and internal bleeding, followed by my doctor explaining the risk of loosing my arm, if the surgery wasn't performed soon, and hearing them talk about how close (milimeters) to the main artery my bone had passed as it punctured my skin from the inside, was enough to cause me some issues.
I finally stopped dreaming about my arm and "grieving" some of the loss of motion I now have in it a year or so ago. It was a tough, tough process for me to work through. I know I have some other things In my life I need to work through also. I think everyone does. I just wish my sleep wasn't interupted to remind me of mine.
I think I've left things behind and have dealt with them and then I have these dreams and think maybe I haven't. I wake up alone in the darkness of my room and everyone else in the house is sleeping. It's hard when you need to share something and there is no one to share it with. I try talking to God, but then I end up thinking more and dwelling on what is bothering me and getting myself more upset.
Part of my problem is this wall I've built around myself. It's really hard for me to let anyone in. I feel like I have so many layers. I'll share some things with people on occasion, but there's always other things that so far, very few have managed to get out of me. It's not that I want to hold on to these things, it's just that I don't want people to judge me (it's nothing illegal) and I feel like I have so much that I am dumping on people when I do share.
Things tend to come to surface in the form of nightmares to me. I severely broke my arm 2 1/2 years ago, and didn't realize how traumatic it was for me until two days after I was in the hospital and I started dreaming the accident over and over, I would wake up right at the second that I heard my bones snap (more like a pop). My nurses said it was some post traumatic stress stuff. Considering I hadn't been in a war or anything I didn't know it was bad enough to cause that. Apparently the audible snapping of bones, pain and internal bleeding, followed by my doctor explaining the risk of loosing my arm, if the surgery wasn't performed soon, and hearing them talk about how close (milimeters) to the main artery my bone had passed as it punctured my skin from the inside, was enough to cause me some issues.
I finally stopped dreaming about my arm and "grieving" some of the loss of motion I now have in it a year or so ago. It was a tough, tough process for me to work through. I know I have some other things In my life I need to work through also. I think everyone does. I just wish my sleep wasn't interupted to remind me of mine.
Friday, March 11, 2005
Test Day
Today was my test. I might as well explain what it was now, most who know me already know anyway.
I am trying to get into the LPN (nursing) program at the technical school here. I have a degree in psychology, but I really feel like nursing and helping ill people is where my heart is at.
I made in the 79'th percentile on the test. That is good, but they take the people who score is the 90's first. Since only 24 people are accepted, I'm going to take it one more time on the 21'st and try to bring me score up. I need to work on Fractions and Algebra (yuck). It's all reading and math stuff. I tested above high school level on reading but at high school level in math. After all the remedial math and college statistics I had to take in college, you'de think I'de have scored at college level. However, when I was in high school, I was probably on an elementary level in math. I strongly dislike math.
so it's time to break out the old Algebra book and brush up on solving algebraic equations. That was the only algebra thing on the test, thank goodness. Today I was thinking it's a good thing they didn't require you to know metric conversions or anything like that. I have a hard enough time cooking when I have to half a recipe or something.
I don't feel good tonight. My sinuses hurt and my nose feels a little stuffy. I really, really don't want to be sick right now.
My sister just picked up my nephew. So I am off to bed. Maybe I can sleep off whatever is going on with my sinuses.
I am trying to get into the LPN (nursing) program at the technical school here. I have a degree in psychology, but I really feel like nursing and helping ill people is where my heart is at.
I made in the 79'th percentile on the test. That is good, but they take the people who score is the 90's first. Since only 24 people are accepted, I'm going to take it one more time on the 21'st and try to bring me score up. I need to work on Fractions and Algebra (yuck). It's all reading and math stuff. I tested above high school level on reading but at high school level in math. After all the remedial math and college statistics I had to take in college, you'de think I'de have scored at college level. However, when I was in high school, I was probably on an elementary level in math. I strongly dislike math.
so it's time to break out the old Algebra book and brush up on solving algebraic equations. That was the only algebra thing on the test, thank goodness. Today I was thinking it's a good thing they didn't require you to know metric conversions or anything like that. I have a hard enough time cooking when I have to half a recipe or something.
I don't feel good tonight. My sinuses hurt and my nose feels a little stuffy. I really, really don't want to be sick right now.
My sister just picked up my nephew. So I am off to bed. Maybe I can sleep off whatever is going on with my sinuses.
Tuesday, March 08, 2005
Oops
I spoke too soon last night about my cat being better. Within an hour of posting she started vomiting again. So this morning I spent three hours at the vet with her. It took longer than when I go to the doctor.
Picture my stressed out sick cat in a litle carrier, sitting in the vet's waiting room. There is only one other dog in there. Then along comes a big huge dog, who's owner says is still a "puppy." Big huge dog makes me nervous cause I fear my cat going ballistic in her carrier (she's a little high strung). Thankfully big dog sits across the room from us. Then along comes a man and a woman with eight black lab six week old puppies. Yes, eight yippy, crying dogs. They sit a few seats down, I have since moved abby's cage to the other side of where I am sitting. Receptionist comes out to pet the puppies. I briefly fear she will attempt to pet Abby and loose a finger. As I'm thinking this, in walks two pit bulls, followed by some other big dog and a smaller dog. so it's my cat and close to 15 dogs. She did the only thing she could do, layed in her carrier and played dead. Yes, I know she was playing cause I poked her once to make sure. Yep, she moved.
Thank goodness they called us back to the room. More waiting and every once in a while you could here the sounds of heavy panting as dogs walked past the room (where were the other cats?) Vet comes in, let's Abby out of her carrier. Abby was fine until she touched her bladder. Then the technician found out why it says that Abby may bite in here chart. She didn't bite her but she came close. This was followed by some growling, hissing and a little poofing of the fur.
They took her back, got some Urine (through a small needle inserted through her abdomin into here bladder), took some blood, did some x-rays. I thought we were done and the doctor would be in soon with the diagnosis. Wrong, they had to reshoot an x-ray. More waiting. Finally the doctor came in, not sure what is wrong with Abby. There is no blockage. There is a slight bladder infection and some billirubins (spelling ?) in her urine. Billirubins are secreted by your liver and normally don't belong in your Urine. The doctor was conserned about her liver, since she is slightly over weight and won't eat. However, I decided to hold off on sending the blood work off due to the expense of it. I have since recalled that when you have been throwing up for a while, your liver enzimes and stuff can get thrown off. Mostly from dehidration. Therefore, I Dr. Sarah (not really) have concluded that her liver is probably ok. It's just from being sick.
So technically, we don't know what is wrong with the cat. So we are just treating her symtoms. She has an antibiotic for her bladder, an antibiotic for her GI tract, and some nausea medicine. Thats three medicines I have to force my cat to take twice a day each. It's been less than a day and she already runs when she see's me coming. Especially if she notices the medicine syringe thingie in my hand. So I have to chase her all over the house, drag her out from under tables, then hold her down and try to get all the liquid medicine down her throat. I end up with it on me, and usually dripping from her mouth.
How much did all this cost you might ask? $145.00! If I had sent the blood off it would have been another $60 something.
On the way home from the vet I saw a car with lettering on the back I didn't understand. I got the top part, it said "Think God" it was the bottom lettering I didn't get, "It's the speed limit, problem?!" I thought it meant something along the lines of "The speed I'm going is the speed limit so back off." Then, they sped past me doing at least 10-15 over. So that left me wondering if it meant something else.
Well, my nephew is here...
Picture my stressed out sick cat in a litle carrier, sitting in the vet's waiting room. There is only one other dog in there. Then along comes a big huge dog, who's owner says is still a "puppy." Big huge dog makes me nervous cause I fear my cat going ballistic in her carrier (she's a little high strung). Thankfully big dog sits across the room from us. Then along comes a man and a woman with eight black lab six week old puppies. Yes, eight yippy, crying dogs. They sit a few seats down, I have since moved abby's cage to the other side of where I am sitting. Receptionist comes out to pet the puppies. I briefly fear she will attempt to pet Abby and loose a finger. As I'm thinking this, in walks two pit bulls, followed by some other big dog and a smaller dog. so it's my cat and close to 15 dogs. She did the only thing she could do, layed in her carrier and played dead. Yes, I know she was playing cause I poked her once to make sure. Yep, she moved.
Thank goodness they called us back to the room. More waiting and every once in a while you could here the sounds of heavy panting as dogs walked past the room (where were the other cats?) Vet comes in, let's Abby out of her carrier. Abby was fine until she touched her bladder. Then the technician found out why it says that Abby may bite in here chart. She didn't bite her but she came close. This was followed by some growling, hissing and a little poofing of the fur.
They took her back, got some Urine (through a small needle inserted through her abdomin into here bladder), took some blood, did some x-rays. I thought we were done and the doctor would be in soon with the diagnosis. Wrong, they had to reshoot an x-ray. More waiting. Finally the doctor came in, not sure what is wrong with Abby. There is no blockage. There is a slight bladder infection and some billirubins (spelling ?) in her urine. Billirubins are secreted by your liver and normally don't belong in your Urine. The doctor was conserned about her liver, since she is slightly over weight and won't eat. However, I decided to hold off on sending the blood work off due to the expense of it. I have since recalled that when you have been throwing up for a while, your liver enzimes and stuff can get thrown off. Mostly from dehidration. Therefore, I Dr. Sarah (not really) have concluded that her liver is probably ok. It's just from being sick.
So technically, we don't know what is wrong with the cat. So we are just treating her symtoms. She has an antibiotic for her bladder, an antibiotic for her GI tract, and some nausea medicine. Thats three medicines I have to force my cat to take twice a day each. It's been less than a day and she already runs when she see's me coming. Especially if she notices the medicine syringe thingie in my hand. So I have to chase her all over the house, drag her out from under tables, then hold her down and try to get all the liquid medicine down her throat. I end up with it on me, and usually dripping from her mouth.
How much did all this cost you might ask? $145.00! If I had sent the blood off it would have been another $60 something.
On the way home from the vet I saw a car with lettering on the back I didn't understand. I got the top part, it said "Think God" it was the bottom lettering I didn't get, "It's the speed limit, problem?!" I thought it meant something along the lines of "The speed I'm going is the speed limit so back off." Then, they sped past me doing at least 10-15 over. So that left me wondering if it meant something else.
Well, my nephew is here...
Monday, March 07, 2005
Wish it was Friday
I don't wish it was friday because of the weekend, I wish it was friday because that is the day of my test and I'm ready to take it and get it over with.
I went to the cabin for a few hours today. It has been closed up all winter so it was pretty dusty and dirty. Also, there has been some kind of lady bug infestation. There were dead lady bugs everywhere. I swept a bunch out, but could have spent the whole day just cleaning them out of there. Another reason I didn't stay long was that the microwave that used to be there no longer was, so I had no way to make the food I took. If I ever figure out how to post pictures, I'll post some of the cabin. So I fed the cat, walked around, swept out lady bugs, studied some, and then headed back home before the rain started.
My sister worked tonight. She doesn't normally, but that meant an extra night with my nephew, so it was ok. I'm keeping him wednesday while she has a doctors appt. I'm not supposed to have him that night, but I'm gonna keep him and take him home after we go to Church.
Apparently praying for a cat works. Praise God! She made a sudden recovery. Last night she drank some water for the first time in two days, and then this morning she ate and it stayed down! She still seems weak, but that is to be expected after two days of throwing up. We talked to the vet this morning and she said not to bring her in unless she started getting sick again. So not only is she better, but she didn't cost me any money. We don't know what was wrong with her. Either something upset her stomach or she picked up a stomach virus. She doesn't leave the house and isn't around other animals, so I don't know how she'de catch something. Oh well, just one of lifes mystery's.
I went to the cabin for a few hours today. It has been closed up all winter so it was pretty dusty and dirty. Also, there has been some kind of lady bug infestation. There were dead lady bugs everywhere. I swept a bunch out, but could have spent the whole day just cleaning them out of there. Another reason I didn't stay long was that the microwave that used to be there no longer was, so I had no way to make the food I took. If I ever figure out how to post pictures, I'll post some of the cabin. So I fed the cat, walked around, swept out lady bugs, studied some, and then headed back home before the rain started.
My sister worked tonight. She doesn't normally, but that meant an extra night with my nephew, so it was ok. I'm keeping him wednesday while she has a doctors appt. I'm not supposed to have him that night, but I'm gonna keep him and take him home after we go to Church.
Apparently praying for a cat works. Praise God! She made a sudden recovery. Last night she drank some water for the first time in two days, and then this morning she ate and it stayed down! She still seems weak, but that is to be expected after two days of throwing up. We talked to the vet this morning and she said not to bring her in unless she started getting sick again. So not only is she better, but she didn't cost me any money. We don't know what was wrong with her. Either something upset her stomach or she picked up a stomach virus. She doesn't leave the house and isn't around other animals, so I don't know how she'de catch something. Oh well, just one of lifes mystery's.
Sunday, March 06, 2005
Spring
Today was a gorgeous spring-like day. I enjoyed it, which is a good thing since it's supposed to start raining in a day or two and get down cold enough to flurry. Gotta love Tennessee weather.
Where else can it be 65 one day and 35 the next?
I am going to the cabin tommorow. I think I'm going to leave in the morning and come back tom. evening. It's only about a 30 or 45 minute drive. I have the keys and can go back whenever I want. I may go back up for a part of a day later this week.
Today's sermon was equally good as last weeks, if not better. I had tears in my eyes before it was over. We watched the video "amazed." It was awesome. It ended with Jesus hanging on the cross. I haven't seen the Passion movie (I know I need to), if this video didn't show scenes from the movie than it closely resembled it. Then my preacher spoke on forgiveness again. This is the part that made me tear up. I again felt like he was speaking directly to me. He said that the only thing strong enough to carry the weight of hurt, betrayal, and bitterness (I hope I got that right) is God. The human body is not made to carry our problems and bad feelings around with us. It eats away at us and harms us. Thats why it's so important to forgive people who wrong you and then turn those feelings you have over to God. God is so perfect that he can bare all those things for us without it harming him.
My response to this is "I get it God." I know I need to work on forgiveness and giving some things over to God. I think that god knows I am stubborn so he makes me hear things more than once to make sure it sinks in. Two sermons in a row on forgiveness is probably not a coincidence.
I told Jonathan, the praise leader at my church, that I want to place membership today. He went with me to one of the shephards (elders) and I told him. So now I am a member of Stones River. Wednesday night I think I have to get the secretary or whoever handles membership to put my name on the members list, then it'll be official. I finally feel like I belong somewhere. now I just need to find an area to plug into (examples: teaching sunday school, praise team, choir, youth group etc...).
I'm not sure how God feels about praying for animals? I have finally decided that since God made them also, they are his creation and therefore can be prayed for. So tonight I want to pray for my cat, Abby. She has had a tummy upset problem (throwing up) since yesterday morning. She will be going to the vet first thing in the morning. I pray that she not cost too much and that she doesn't have anything seriously wrong with her.
Where else can it be 65 one day and 35 the next?
I am going to the cabin tommorow. I think I'm going to leave in the morning and come back tom. evening. It's only about a 30 or 45 minute drive. I have the keys and can go back whenever I want. I may go back up for a part of a day later this week.
Today's sermon was equally good as last weeks, if not better. I had tears in my eyes before it was over. We watched the video "amazed." It was awesome. It ended with Jesus hanging on the cross. I haven't seen the Passion movie (I know I need to), if this video didn't show scenes from the movie than it closely resembled it. Then my preacher spoke on forgiveness again. This is the part that made me tear up. I again felt like he was speaking directly to me. He said that the only thing strong enough to carry the weight of hurt, betrayal, and bitterness (I hope I got that right) is God. The human body is not made to carry our problems and bad feelings around with us. It eats away at us and harms us. Thats why it's so important to forgive people who wrong you and then turn those feelings you have over to God. God is so perfect that he can bare all those things for us without it harming him.
My response to this is "I get it God." I know I need to work on forgiveness and giving some things over to God. I think that god knows I am stubborn so he makes me hear things more than once to make sure it sinks in. Two sermons in a row on forgiveness is probably not a coincidence.
I told Jonathan, the praise leader at my church, that I want to place membership today. He went with me to one of the shephards (elders) and I told him. So now I am a member of Stones River. Wednesday night I think I have to get the secretary or whoever handles membership to put my name on the members list, then it'll be official. I finally feel like I belong somewhere. now I just need to find an area to plug into (examples: teaching sunday school, praise team, choir, youth group etc...).
I'm not sure how God feels about praying for animals? I have finally decided that since God made them also, they are his creation and therefore can be prayed for. So tonight I want to pray for my cat, Abby. She has had a tummy upset problem (throwing up) since yesterday morning. She will be going to the vet first thing in the morning. I pray that she not cost too much and that she doesn't have anything seriously wrong with her.
Saturday, March 05, 2005
Writers Block
I am horrible at thinking of titles. It takes me longer to think of a title than it does to write an entry.
I haven't written for a couple of days because I haven't really had anything to write about.
I've just been keeping my nephew and doing everyday stuff.
My grandparents came down from Nashville yesterday. It's only a 30 minute or so drive from here. They came to see my nephew but stopped by my house also. It struck me yesterday that my Grandfather has really aged lately. He is 81 and all of a sudden he seems like it. He used to seem younger than he actually was. He didn't remember that he was the one who hung our blinds in the kitchen and living room last year. My Grandmother mentioned on the phone tonight that he seems to forget a lot lately. Just in the last couple of years I have observed her going from her role as his wife to more of his caregiver at times. I know that no one is ever ready to loose a loved one, but the reality has hit me that my grandparents probably don't have many years left. I am in no way ready for them to not be on this earth. I know that it is selfish for me to say that. I know that they are both Christians and that they have a much better place waiting for them, but I want them here.
The grandparents I'm talking about are my mom's parents. My father's dad died years ago and my father's mother lives in Florida. I can count the number of times I've seen her almost on one hand. I love her, because she is my grandmother, but she has never been much of a grandmother to me. My mom's parents are like having two sets of grandparents. They are a big part of my life .
My grandfather is having knee replacement surgery on the 16'th. I pray that he comes through the surgery and the rehab well. I think seeing him yesterday looking kind of frail and then him getting ready to have surgery, just have me a little worried.
I am going to the cabin on Monday. Not sure if I am coming back on Tuesday or Wednesday. I described the cabin in an earlier post. I just need to get away and spend some time alone with God. I have a test on friday that I need to do some studying for, and I need to do it somewhere without distractions. I will blog about the test another day. It's something I have purposely not blogged about, I'm waiting to see how things go first.
It's been a long time since I looked forward to going to Church. The last couple of days I have been excited that Sunday is almost here. It's a very nice change.
I haven't written for a couple of days because I haven't really had anything to write about.
I've just been keeping my nephew and doing everyday stuff.
My grandparents came down from Nashville yesterday. It's only a 30 minute or so drive from here. They came to see my nephew but stopped by my house also. It struck me yesterday that my Grandfather has really aged lately. He is 81 and all of a sudden he seems like it. He used to seem younger than he actually was. He didn't remember that he was the one who hung our blinds in the kitchen and living room last year. My Grandmother mentioned on the phone tonight that he seems to forget a lot lately. Just in the last couple of years I have observed her going from her role as his wife to more of his caregiver at times. I know that no one is ever ready to loose a loved one, but the reality has hit me that my grandparents probably don't have many years left. I am in no way ready for them to not be on this earth. I know that it is selfish for me to say that. I know that they are both Christians and that they have a much better place waiting for them, but I want them here.
The grandparents I'm talking about are my mom's parents. My father's dad died years ago and my father's mother lives in Florida. I can count the number of times I've seen her almost on one hand. I love her, because she is my grandmother, but she has never been much of a grandmother to me. My mom's parents are like having two sets of grandparents. They are a big part of my life .
My grandfather is having knee replacement surgery on the 16'th. I pray that he comes through the surgery and the rehab well. I think seeing him yesterday looking kind of frail and then him getting ready to have surgery, just have me a little worried.
I am going to the cabin on Monday. Not sure if I am coming back on Tuesday or Wednesday. I described the cabin in an earlier post. I just need to get away and spend some time alone with God. I have a test on friday that I need to do some studying for, and I need to do it somewhere without distractions. I will blog about the test another day. It's something I have purposely not blogged about, I'm waiting to see how things go first.
It's been a long time since I looked forward to going to Church. The last couple of days I have been excited that Sunday is almost here. It's a very nice change.
Wednesday, March 02, 2005
This World Is Not My Home
The title has nothing to do with my blog. It is a true statement though, and now the song that goes with it is stuck in my head.
My heart has been heavy all day, since I saw the news at lunch time. A 14 year old boy in Stewart County who rides a bus to school along with other children ranging from Kindergarten age through high school, climbed on the bus as usual when it stopped at his house. He shot and killed the driver in front of all those kids (the kindergartners sit in the front of the bus). Another kid tried to stop the bus and ended up hitting a telephone pole. The news showed the children reuniting with their families.
As a Psychology major and I guess just as a person, I wonder what was going on in that 14 year old boys head. Had that bus driver done something that made him angry? Had he sat at home and stewed over it for a day and then decided to shoot her? Those are just a few of the questions going through my head.
In college I worked at a facility for Male teenage sexual offenders (yes, fun, fun..) . It was a job I would wish on no one. They didn't just have sexual issues. Most of them were ADHD, Bipolar, had issues with anger (violent), etc... We had one boy who turned Psychotic. It was like one week I was at work and he was his grumpy normal self. The next week I came to work and when I looked at him and looked at his eyes it was like "Bob no longer lives here...he is gone...I live here now." like he was possessed. (his name wasn't really Bob). In other words his face showed no emotion and his eyes were just blank/hollow looking. It was something I will never forget and I would recognize in a second if I saw it again. After two days and everyone being scared of him and him cutting some kid with a piece of metal he found outside, he was sent to a mental hospital. As far as I know, he is still in an institution.
That was just one of my many stories I have from working there. Most of them unfortunatly, due to it being a sexual offender treatment facility, I being a Christian, should not repeat.
Well, I got way off subject here. The boy shooting the bus driver just brought back memories of work.
What is so heavy on my heart about that is the kids who witnessed the shooting. That is a memory that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. Also, at the age of 5 or 6, as the kindergartners would be, most kids are not capable of processing something like that. There is still an innocence to them and they have not usually been exposed to death yet. Today robbed them of that innocence. More than likely most of them will never want to get on another school bus. They will have nightmares, and they will try to understand what happened.
My heart has been heavy all day, since I saw the news at lunch time. A 14 year old boy in Stewart County who rides a bus to school along with other children ranging from Kindergarten age through high school, climbed on the bus as usual when it stopped at his house. He shot and killed the driver in front of all those kids (the kindergartners sit in the front of the bus). Another kid tried to stop the bus and ended up hitting a telephone pole. The news showed the children reuniting with their families.
As a Psychology major and I guess just as a person, I wonder what was going on in that 14 year old boys head. Had that bus driver done something that made him angry? Had he sat at home and stewed over it for a day and then decided to shoot her? Those are just a few of the questions going through my head.
In college I worked at a facility for Male teenage sexual offenders (yes, fun, fun..) . It was a job I would wish on no one. They didn't just have sexual issues. Most of them were ADHD, Bipolar, had issues with anger (violent), etc... We had one boy who turned Psychotic. It was like one week I was at work and he was his grumpy normal self. The next week I came to work and when I looked at him and looked at his eyes it was like "Bob no longer lives here...he is gone...I live here now." like he was possessed. (his name wasn't really Bob). In other words his face showed no emotion and his eyes were just blank/hollow looking. It was something I will never forget and I would recognize in a second if I saw it again. After two days and everyone being scared of him and him cutting some kid with a piece of metal he found outside, he was sent to a mental hospital. As far as I know, he is still in an institution.
That was just one of my many stories I have from working there. Most of them unfortunatly, due to it being a sexual offender treatment facility, I being a Christian, should not repeat.
Well, I got way off subject here. The boy shooting the bus driver just brought back memories of work.
What is so heavy on my heart about that is the kids who witnessed the shooting. That is a memory that they will carry with them for the rest of their lives. Also, at the age of 5 or 6, as the kindergartners would be, most kids are not capable of processing something like that. There is still an innocence to them and they have not usually been exposed to death yet. Today robbed them of that innocence. More than likely most of them will never want to get on another school bus. They will have nightmares, and they will try to understand what happened.
I pray that these children have good parents. Parents who attempt to explain what happened, parents who are there to help them feel safe, and parents who are there to hold them.
God,
Thank you for the awesome night of praise I had at Church tonight. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to bring my nephew to church with me. I pray that somehow, even with his young age, he will one day know of the love you have for him. I hope he can continue to go to church with me, and be an example of you to his parents.
God, I want to lift up those children in Stewart County to you tonight. Touch their hearts and help them to find peace. Let them grow up with no bad affects from this. Be with their parents, educators and counselors as they try to the find words to explain what happened and why, when they probably don't understand either. God I also want to ask that you be with the family of the bus driver. Comfort them and let them one day forgive the boy who did this.
Lastly, please be with the 14 year old boy. He is still a child who has commited a very grown up crime. Provide him with the help he needs and the understanding of the severity of what he did.
In Jesus' name, Amen
God,
Thank you for the awesome night of praise I had at Church tonight. Thank you for giving me the opportunity to bring my nephew to church with me. I pray that somehow, even with his young age, he will one day know of the love you have for him. I hope he can continue to go to church with me, and be an example of you to his parents.
God, I want to lift up those children in Stewart County to you tonight. Touch their hearts and help them to find peace. Let them grow up with no bad affects from this. Be with their parents, educators and counselors as they try to the find words to explain what happened and why, when they probably don't understand either. God I also want to ask that you be with the family of the bus driver. Comfort them and let them one day forgive the boy who did this.
Lastly, please be with the 14 year old boy. He is still a child who has commited a very grown up crime. Provide him with the help he needs and the understanding of the severity of what he did.
In Jesus' name, Amen
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